About Jackie Pt. 2


take life by the balls

So after breakup 4,762,819 with Mr. Wrong, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. 

It was New Years Eve and in a fuzzy state of mind, I made my decision, I chugged why last sips of champagne for the next 9 months, and decoded....I was going to have a baby on my own.

I woke up the next morning,  and sat on it and knew it my heart it was what I wanted.

I told my family, I wanted to have a baby on my own.

I went about trying to conceive as I do with anything… full speed ahead , with zeal and ferocious passion.

To summarize the gory details.

I got pregnant through IUI after 4 times.

I was elated, but then broken hearted to find that it was an ectopic pregnancy. 

I remember the day. It was August 6 (day before my 41st birthday)  a spectacular NYC day. I went to SOHO OBGYN for a checkup.

The technician for the sonogram didn't say anything..so I knew something was up.

She left the room and came back in with someone else who explained to me that my pregnancy was stuck in the tubes and implanted there, and would have to be removed. Completely unaware of how my body works (at nearly 41), I was shocked.  How does that even happen.

My mother was with me.  SOHO OBGYN, booked my appointment for surgery that day at 2pm. My mother and I left SOHO and walked slowly to NYU about 45 min by foot in silence. Still scratching my head...I literally, didn't know it existed. (Now I know how 18 year old girls get pregnant and aren't really sure how their body works)

I was admitted for surgery that morning, and released  just before midnight. I slept at my parents house for a few days and mourned my first loss.  I woke up and started working on plan B. IVF.

IVF

For those of you unfamiliar with IVF....It's a BEAST! A beast of emotion, that wrangles you like a hungry dog ravages his meat. A beast of money. IVF starts at $10,000 PER PROCEDURE, plus money for drugs, sperm, and Anesthesia. Most of these expenses are out of pocket as a great majority of companies don't cover IVF, and most insurance coverage in minimal. I learned in New York state that any company under 50 employees was not even eligible for coverage.

moving on.

To summarize the gory details.

4 IVF cycles.  4 rounds of shots. 4 egg retrievals. 4 egg transfers. 2 pregnancies. 2 DNC's