When you first give birth you think you’re going to feel an instant attachment and outpouring of love...but sometimes that just isn’t the case. Postpartum depression is very common in women; almost 600,000 women in the US alone suffer from postpartum depression after giving birth to their first child. With the stigma that comes from suffering with a mental illness, especially postpartum depression, not many new mothers feel comfortable sharing their stories due to the fear of being judged.
Unlike most women, Jessi wanted to share her story.
In 2013 after giving birth to her son Bae, Jessi suffered from severe postpartum depression for the entire first year of his life. She was overwhelmed with these feelings that lead her to question everything from her intellect and sanity to her ability to express positive emotions. She says, “I would stare at this tiny human being and knew he was supposed to mean something to me, but I just could not find those emotions inside me.”
After months and months of suffering in silence, confused and angry of why her brain “wasn’t working,” there was one night, in the middle of a breakdown filled with distraught tears, that Jessi had a moment of clarity. “This is not normal. This isn’t me. There has to be something wrong. I need help.” The next day she went to her doctor...
Under the care of her doctor, she took medication and went to therapy, eventually finding herself slowly coming back into the person she used to be. After that, she made another life altering decision, ending her marriage. She knew that she needed to be in a more healthy and stable place and this decision was the next step in her journey to a full recovery. Jessi dug deep to find the perseverance to completely rebuild herself from the inside out. She emerged from the darkest place of her life “with a new understanding of what it meant to be a strong woman.”
If there is one piece of advice Jessi could pass long to any woman suffering from postpartum depression, it would be to “Find your tribe, the people who will remind you of your magic when you forget it and keep them incredibly close. This is not something you have to go through alone. Reach out, speak up!”
Currently residing in Long Island City, Jessi spends her days excited to just get home and play with her three year old son Bae! She says, “As a single mom, I am the primary caregiver and with that comes a lot of responsibility. It is my honor to create a life that is stable and happy for my precious little boy.” Bae’s name is derived from a Korean word meaning inspiration, which couldn’t be truer for his Momma.“He is now the light of my life and I am incredibly proud that I never stopped fighting to get my life back.”